Tuesday, 13 April 2010

Hamish

We finally did the right thing by our beautiful boy Hamish. He was just short of his fifteenth birthday. I could no longer bear to see him suffer. He was blind and deaf and had arthritis in his spine. He fell over things, bumped into things, was very disorientated and sad. I told myself that he was still eating his food, so he must be okay. He still wandered around the garden, so he must be alright. But, in my heart of hearts, deep down in that place where your conscience whispers softly but persistently, I knew that he was no longer enjoying his life. It had become a struggle for him, he was old and tired and had a way of looking at me when curled up on the sofa that said he was ready to go. Fifteen years is a long time to be part of someones life...our life, and his passing has had a profound affect on us all.
Oh, "it's only a dog" some might say, and too be fair, if you are not a doggy person, then maybe it is hard to understand the attachment, the hole in our lives that he used to fill with his gentleness.
I can still hear him sometimes in my head. I still look for him on the bed in the patch of sunlight that used to warm his old bones, I still get up to let him in from the garden...


Now he is at rest in a beautiful spot in the garden, beneath the daffodils and the shade of the apple tree. His favourite spot in the garden.

23 comments:

resewn sally said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. To me it's never "just a dog" They are part of your family. And of course you'll feel a void. But you did the right thing. You did what was best for Hamish. At least you know he's happy now and not in any pain. I'm sure he loved his long and happy life with you.
Sal. X

Barbara said...

I am so very sorry for your loss.
I won't be one of those people saying it's only a dog. I know better because I've been there.
It leaves a hole in your being that will eventually mend...but not completely. I had to do the same with my little dog only for different reasons. She was very sick..very.
It'll be a year in August....The right thing never feels completely right..but it was.

Karin said...

I am a doggy person and I can feel your pain. I'm so sorry for your loss.
~X~ Karin

Michelle May said...

My sincere and deepest sympathy for your sweet and precious baby. Until you meet again...
Sending you a hug for your heart.
Michelle

Michelle said...

As the days go on, your heart will lighten, however, Hamish will always have that special place in your heart where our fur babies live forever. He is in a very special place now and is happy with my girls. Take care.

Just be happy! said...

I understand your love for him, I love my dog, too.
I'm sorry.

a mermaids purse said...

awww bless im sorry for your loss...but you did the kind thing...my dad ran a sanctuary for wild and injured wild animals- we had a pet fox after its mother was killed on a road- When we had to say good bye to alot of the animals my dad cared for when they became well we always found it so hard- the deep hole left when they parted- really emotional...i completely understand your loss...but you will always have that place in your heart for Hamish like i had for Bazil (foxy).
xxxx best wishes xxxx i so enjoy your blog and postings x

Lululiz said...

It is traumatic losing a friend of so many years. My heart goes out to you. A couple of years ago, we lost our first two dogs within a year of each other, they were both 13, and even though we now have the two best doggies in the whole world, I still think of Harry and Bobbie every day, and still cry sometimes when I remember specific moments. And when I close my eyes, I can still feel their fur under my hands. And now I am blubbing again.

Tabiboo said...

Oh Mrs Fairyglade I am so sorry for the loss of your Hamish and such a lovely name too. I'm more of a cat person, but I do completely understand how your feeling.

take care ans bug hugs,

Nina xxxxx

Isolde said...

That's so sad, so sorry that you lost your beloved dog. For him it is the best, but for you, it's hard.

Pink Feather Paradise said...

I love that your still letting him in... I truly believe he still is curled up on your bed in that sunny spot and to be honest he probably does still wait at the back door to be let in... he is still very much part of your lives... our doberman was laid to rest in our garden and the night after he was laid to rest in his favourite blanket it rained... I worried so much that he was getting wet... so daft!
I still hear him wandering around the house... and sometimes I swear I can smell his cabbage-y bottom burps too! lol

Big hugs and I fully understand the hanging on for just one more day...

x Alex

melanie said...

What a dreadfully sad post. I am so very sorry for your loss, I can not find the right words to say to you. It is tragic when you loose an animal, and I can really feel for you, I am so very sorry. x

Alhana said...

I am so sorry! I know this must have been difficult but you did the right thing.
Hope your pain will ease soon. xx

Mimi and Tilly said...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss of Hamish. It's so heartbreaking to lose a member of your family, whether they have four legs or two... x I have two cats who are a huge part of my life. It's never "just a dog" or "just a cat". I'm sending love through the internet ether. Emma x

Kimbles said...

So sorry to hear about your beloved Hamish. He obviously had a very happy life with your family judging by the lovely happy pictures of him and that must bring you some comfort - he will always be a part of your family **Kim**X

~ Dawn Sparks ~ said...

Oh, bless his heart! And hug to you. It is such a hard decision, and I tear up just thinking about how it pulls at you, and how sweet these creatures are that come into our lives for such a short little visit. My little guy was 18...I still miss him, but think of him fondly of when he was young and happy.

Hamish looks like a sweet boy!

Dawn

Bolmara said...

You made me cry and it is much more than a dog is a shared life.A special and nice life . I don´t know you nor your dog but I feel near both of you ...my best regards, Bolmara .

Maggie said...

We had to make the same decision about our cat last year. When they have been a part of your everyday life since being small, to getting old, it is hard to part with them, but you know you have to, you know that if you love them, you let them go. So you let go... and boy, does it ever hurt. Still does, and sometimes, still, I think I hear her MIAOW... maybe I do, when I am out in the garden, just as we used to. She is buried there now, underneath the laburnum tree where she used to lie in the shade, right up until the end.
As you have seen, nobody here thinks 'it's only a dog/cat', we all know what you are going through and are here for support.

Karin said...

Hi! How are you? Hope you are ok!

You asked about the fabric with the birds. I phoned the salesman, he told me the fabric came from a wholesaler, together with lots of other fabrics, designer or brand are unknown. I'm so sorry, I can't help you.

~X~ Karin

Alexandra Mason said...

I am so very very sorry for your loss. I'm thinking about you xxx

Libby said...

I am sorry to hear about your dog. XXX

* I left you a little present on my blog. :-)

明偉誠秋 said...

It's great!!..........................................

VINTAGE HEART said...

HI, i just had to leave a comment as your post touched me so much, I shed a tear..... He was such a sweet gentle looking old man , and having suffeed the loss of old darling dogs ,i understand your pain, I have two old babies ,15 and 16,( terriers ) and I know I will have to go through what you have discribed again , but the unconditional love and joy they give is un missable, bestest wishes,Linda.