We finally did the right thing by our beautiful boy Hamish. He was just short of his fifteenth birthday. I could no longer bear to see him suffer. He was blind and deaf and had arthritis in his spine. He fell over things, bumped into things, was very disorientated and sad. I told myself that he was still eating his food, so he must be okay. He still wandered around the garden, so he must be alright. But, in my heart of hearts, deep down in that place where your conscience whispers softly but persistently, I knew that he was no longer enjoying his life. It had become a struggle for him, he was old and tired and had a way of looking at me when curled up on the sofa that said he was ready to go. Fifteen years is a long time to be part of someones life...our life, and his passing has had a profound affect on us all.
Oh, "it's only a dog" some might say, and too be fair, if you are not a doggy person, then maybe it is hard to understand the attachment, the hole in our lives that he used to fill with his gentleness.
I can still hear him sometimes in my head. I still look for him on the bed in the patch of sunlight that used to warm his old bones, I still get up to let him in from the garden...
Now he is at rest in a beautiful spot in the garden, beneath the daffodils and the shade of the apple tree. His favourite spot in the garden.